I caught myself saying it again last week.
“I’m so behind.”
I was standing at the kitchen counter, laptop open, dishwasher humming, half-answered emails blinking at me, and a text thread I hadn’t responded to in three days lighting up my phone.
Behind.
Behind on work.
Behind on laundry.
Behind on that idea I was excited about two months ago.
Behind on being the version of myself I thought I’d be by now.
And I stopped and thought… behind what?
Who set this pace?
Because when I zoomed out, here’s what I was actually carrying:
Client deadlines.
Family logistics.
A friend going through something hard.
My own health appointments.
Creative ideas I want to bring into the world.
The mental list of groceries we’re low on.
The emotional weight of the news cycle.
That’s not “behind.”
That’s overloaded.
But high-achieving women don’t call it overloaded.
We call it “I just need to get more organized.”
We call it “I need to try harder.”
We call it “Why can’t I keep up?”
We are competent. Capable. The reliable one. The one who figures it out.
And somewhere along the way, capable turned into never allowed to drop anything.
So we keep adding.
We carry the invisible calendar in our heads. We track everyone’s birthdays. We remember the appointments. We manage the tone of the room. We try to show up well at work and well at home and well in friendships and well online.
And then we look at our own dreams and think, I should be further by now.
But what if you’re not behind?
What if you’re just carrying too much?
Mental load is real. Emotional labor is real. Decision fatigue is real. And none of it shows up neatly in a planner box.
So instead of asking, “Why am I so behind?” try asking:
“What am I carrying that no one else sees?”
That question softens things immediately.
Because shame thrives in vagueness.
Clarity brings compassion.
You are not lazy.
You are not undisciplined.
You are full.
And fullness requires different strategies than laziness.
Maybe this season isn’t about acceleration.
Maybe it’s about steadiness.
Maybe instead of catching up, the work is choosing what actually matters this week.
One intention.
One act of kindness.
One small, grounded step.
That’s not falling behind.
That’s living on purpose.
And if you need permission to put something down — even just for a while — here it is.
You are allowed.
